dOwn .

guess so in this world there is no such thing called CELLPHONES & PUBLIC PHONES . huh ?

yesterday when out to pyramid to celebrate TSI MINN'S birthday. finally you are 17 !

HAPPY SEVENTEEN BIRTHDAY AH MINN !! : )

me ALDO bag !

me !

bored and not really in the mood the whole entire time in pyramid due to certain reasons !

i love you like i never see you again . i hold you like this is the last time . but what happen next ?

must this happen ?

i really do miss you .

can you please dont do this to me anymore ?

im not as strong as what you think i am .

dont wanna lose you . but you seems to be walking away from me .

could you come back to my arms ?

need you so badly , love you so so so much !

i feel like a thousand needles are in me .

but im just trying to be so strong to hold on to act that there is nothing is happening.

i seriously need you .

i cant afford to lose you !

time is not everything but trust and love is .

LOVE is a very powerful thing that you could possibly imagine .

MerDeka !

when over to pyramid today last minute plan. when there with Larissa & Ignatius then meet up with Joshua , his guy friend do not know the name and Nicol from USJ12. okay ! then split up with them and Larissa and me when to do some shopping stuff.bag hunting but FAIL couldnt get any nice ones. watched IMAGINE THAT ! nice movie ! seriously... headed over to kim gary to makan . i had my pork chop with cheese baked rice ! nom nom nom . . . . !! everyone is staying for the countdown thing but un fortunately im not. wont be going to any countdown without him. i'll wait for him no matter how long it takes ( a life time ) ? nahh ! ! !

outfit of the day !

topshop !

heLLo !

bored man !

Michael Buble & Nelly Furtado - Quando Quando Quando.

( recommended song )

Tell me when will you be mine

Tell me quando quando quando

We can share a love divine

Please don't make me wait again

When will you say yes to me

Tell me quando quando quando

You mean happiness to me

Oh my love please tell me when

Every moments a day

Every day seems a lifetime

Let me show you the way

To a joy beyond compare

I can't wait a moment more

Tell me quando quando quando

Say its me that you adore

And then darling tell me when

Every moments a day

Every day seems a lifetime

Let me show you the way

To a joy beyond compare

I can't wait a moment more

Tell me quando quando quando

Say its me that you adore

And then darling tell me when

Whoa lover tell me when

Oh darling tell me when

Oh come on tell me when

Yea tell me when

sentences of the day !

IM LOYAL . . . .

me LOVE !

love your style , feel confident in what you wear. never back off of your own fashion taste.just wear whatever you feel comfortable in.

FASHION is really important for every each girls and boys.

current OBSESSION !

apparel :

TOPSHOP , Miss Selfridge , Forever21 , MANGO.

heels :

ALDO , Salvatore Ferragamo , Yves Saint Laurent , Christian Louboutin , JimmyChoo , Givenchy.

bags :

PRADA , Gucci , Louis Vouitton , Dior , Fendi , Marc Jacobs , Yves Saint Laurent.

fragrance :

Ralph Lauren notorious, Flora by Gucci , Calvin Klein , Lancome magnifique , Dolce & Gabbana.

face/eyes :

Anna Sui , MAC , Shu Uemura , Bobbi Brown , Chanel.

magazines :

VOGUE , CLEO !

{ suits and boots are back. }

taken from VOGUE magazines ( me love so much ) :

versace !

Christian Siriano ( winner of project runway ) !

his design. are just so fabulous.

every couple have their routines.

i got my own same ol' routine.

my patience are growing.waiting for someone is isnt that easy as what you think but its a challenge.

I TOOK THAT CHALLENGE.

I KNOW AND IM SURE. ITS MUST BE HIM !

trying too hard !

SUDDEN CRAVES ! = COLOUR PENCILS !

i want a BIG BIG BOX of colour pencils !

trying too hard to pout but cannot make it... hehe

suck it man ! tomorrow i got extra accounts class during the holidays...for FOUR FREAKKING HOURS !

I want to go NZX also..waiting patiently for me car and license !!! when others can drive around already. *jealous much*

oh ya by the way, i when for my undang talk alone with no friends for 6 hours ..can die of boredom man.so freakking boring man..they keep repeating the same exact thing all over again.but still i got to read my undang book ! this is the book :

xOXoXXO

misses him alot.really looking forward to go out with him and spend more time together..first time of my life being together with a guy that couldnt even meet couldnt even call couldnt even message ! but its ok im waiting patiently over here for him as always.love of my life.

my true love , my whole heart , please dont throw that away.

there is nothing left to say bout it anymore..

finally ! took picture with him again in tuition haha.


try observing my face, it looks the same in every single picture..:) how could i change it..?

he look super fair here

-__-"

don't you feel these ice cups are super gorgeous..

its in ice hotel !

ice hotels are located at quebec,canada and another one is in sweden.its super nice and gorgeous.maybe you should try to go there next time but you gotta be rich first.cause its freakking expensive living there :)

im falling......

i dont wanna fall again.

could be there to hold on to me?

what should i say now?

love beybeee..

THE REASON

the only purpose i when to world stage was not really to watch live singing band but to search for someone there hope to see him there , was kinda entire time looking around hoping up and down looking everywhere , walked everywhere to find him feeling so thirsty and dizzy but unfortunately no results of him.waited for his call from 3something p.m till 12 noon but no calls from him.was so dissapointed that i actually break down when i just walk away from my friend name Sam.everyone was having fun dancing singing but me ? im so speechless. what should i say ? what should i do ? but to ignore this........

MTV world stage !

PICTURE POSTING... i didnt even bother taking pictures of world stage cause it was damn pack and sweati all over..so damn bloody alot of people...can die man..

outfit of the day to world stage!

sweating like hell !

world stage cop at me hand.

world stage ticket

got the normal ticket but get to go in the vip place that is super near the stage...super loud music.

LOUD MUSIC = LOVE !

need pain kiLLers !

if you ever found yourself all alone,just smile everything will be fine.

will you agree that will work? just came home from mcdonald.felt so lonely after everyones gone back.was standing outside mcdonald waiting for dad for quite some time then it started to rain.its cold and everywhere is covered with raindrops.i turned my head to my left and saw a lovely couple trying to covered each other from getting wet and i turned away.looked around and saw everywhere is full of couples walking everywhere.sweetly spending time together.suddenly out of nowhere my mind has been struck by many questions wondering in my mind asking myself "where is mine?","how long more must you wait for it?","will it happen soon?" all i do was just hoping for miracle to happen.sometimes i just feel like curling up myself in a ball and roll myself under the bed and cry sadly alone.

every single time when the clock strucks to 7.10p.m he were just have to start walking away from me,faraway.ya i know what can he do right.its not what he want but he just have to go for a reason.got to deal with it.but sometimes dealing with it you will finally get fed up with it right.but what can i do to help it.but to stay at my own position as always.an hour or two being with him isnt enough and it will never be enough.seeing/meeting someone you love for just four hours a week is a unbelieveable thing to do.with this normal routine happen all over and over again will only stab your heart for millions of times.hard to even catch a breath.finally get to meet him its like a full relieve and his always my pain killer..making me feel all warm and always save being with him.but great things doesnt always come.you just gotta wait for it.

ya i totally agree that i think alot sometimes but things that i think it might actually happen.and its impossible and i mean it IMPOSSIBLE for a normal guy not to see hot pretty sexy girls.kinda worry bout it.what can i do but to close his eyes which that wont happen in a million years.just see all you want.hopefully he knows his limits.maybe he would not realise that he has already reach his limits.oh my god my brains gonna burst into a million pieces thinking bout it.

everybody wants to spend the rest of their lives with someone....

its sucks that he got to go out everytime with his friends and to somewhere he wants to be.or maybe he can sometimes or even one time try to tell his mom that he got to go out with his close friends but actually go out with his gf.but i dont think he ever do that.his gf is just being very patience for once in her life time for a guy that she really loves .all she wants is to spend a little more time with him when she is having her hard times but its hard and she got no idea how to.she couldnt even contact him.she has already tolerate with him alot but how long can she do that? everytime she have problem in mind,she just couldnt tell him because its hard to explain and if she do he will just feel guilty and sorry.so its no point for her to explain much when she knows that no differences will happen.so she rather keep it to herself and try to make it as a normal thing and try to shine her day with a bright smile on her face.pretending and hiding away from what she feels all the time. BUT NO MATTER WHAT SHE WILL ALWAYS ONLY LOVE HIM WITH ALL HER HEART AND SOUL..

my anniversary !

ever thought of getting married where or how?

• church?
• traditional wedding?
• or just a simple wedding?

or largest PUBLIC LIBRARY IN NEW YORK CITY?

kinda romantic and memorable if you get married in there.its not that bad at all .cause the library is all made up of full white marble floors and stairs.and its filled with books around you keeping you warm and nice comfortable. best wedding place ! if i could rent the whole library just for my wedding laa... :)

today is me and my baybee's anniversary !

HAPPY 4TH ANNIVERSARY BRANDON !

finally its already four months ! wow how amazing.time passes real fast without me realising.baybee made me ANNIVERSARY CUPCAKES and wrote me LOVE LETTER ! a very meaningful letter.how nice can he be. love him till bits.muakx. no pictures of it uploaded cause due to some certain reasons :) first of all it fliped up side down thanks to HIM.dunno how he put in his bag ! second of all i ate two already :) !

exams tomorrow ! its TRIALS MAN !

chocolate cupcake.

baked cupcake on thursday.was suppose to have hari karnival on saturday which is today but it was postponed to other day..damn suck !

1 august 2009:

today when to pyramid with mom shopping damn bored ! but at least not staying at home.i got to rest sometimes from studying :)

something so fucking annoying happened to me lately.damn annoyed man.sometimes guys are just so freakking fucking CHILDISH and got no brains and most important BLIND STUPID!

nobody can ever touch my phone without MY PERMISSION ! whoever touch my phone without my permission,no matter who you are i will just SLAP THE SHIT OUT OF YOU !

MKY can never in his life touch my phone.if you do, i will fucking slap you i dont care whether you bring your fucking "cool" gang come whack me, i will whack them up.like i care who you are ! PORN STAR ! you don even dare to touch me ! and PLEASEEEE dont touch me with your dirty hands, your whole body is damn dirty and gross.

NEVER FUCKING TOUCH MY PHONE !

love you forever brandon.

didnt realise my hair grew that long ady..

start to camwhore.

bored of dead straight hair.

somehow this picture looks emo but im not maybe its just bout the hair..

(will you ever fold this much of tiny little starts for someone? )

I can’t imagine right now

Standing here

Without you

To think that I tried to ignore

What I felt

What I knew

I could never

Stop this feeling

Thank you for not letting go

When I said let me go...

i'll wait for you baby !

oh my god its been a very long time since i blog again.busy studying..spm is like damn near.

saw some most bitches thing ever happen today.woah her eyes could kill any living things ! please man never be so bitchy please.you make people hate you.people might hate you till the max till they rape you,you'll never know. you know who you are and please change.you are just spoiling your own image.unless you think its so DAMN COOL then just continue what you always do la.i cant change you,you change yourself.just realise abit la !

spm is on 18 november

happy 3rd month anniversary baby !

yes only 3months not that long also.but soon it will be forever.

i love you baby.

we will take picture together soon.... :)

hi !

i wanna watch this movie ! :)

OBSESSED !

i think im just thinking tooo much these few days.but i just wanna have him thats all..im being very selfish.NO SHARING BOYFRIENDS !

have some limits while talking to my boyfriend !

dont make me hate you !

LET'S PLAY A LOVE GAME ! ARE YOU IN THIS GAME ?

CURRENTLY ADDICTED TO LADY GAGA-LOVE GAME !

Cassie-is it you?


I'm looking for a lover not a friend
Somebody who can be there when I need someone to talk to
Im looking for someone who won't pretend
Somebody not afraid to say
The way they feel about you

And I'm looking for someone who understands
How I feel
Someone who can keep it real And who knows the way
The way I like to have it my way
And I'm looking for someone who takes me there
Wants to share
Shows he cares
Thinkin' you're the one that I've been waiting for

[chorus: 2x]
Is it you? Is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me?
Could you be the one I need?

I'm looking for someone to share my pain
Someone who I can run to
Who will stay with me when it rains
Someone who I can cry with through the night
Someone who I can trust whose heart is right
And I'm looking for someone

And I'm looking for someone who understands
How I feel
Someone who can keep it real
And who knows the way
The way I like to have it my way
And I'm looking for someone who takes me there
Wants to share
Shows he cares
Thinking you're the one that I've been waiting for

[chorus 2x]
Take for granted how much I care (how much I care)
Appreciates that I'm there
Someone who listens
And someone I can call who isn't afraid of love to share

[chorus 2x]

what now?

something surprising happened to me yesterday after school ,was really extremely happy.my boyfriend surprise me by coming to my school to see me and unfortunately to tell me something that really dissapoint me.but i forgive him obviously.at least he have the heart to come and visit me after school.which is enough to cheer my day but obviously a little side of my mind will be extremely sad after hearing what he said to me.cause ever since the day before i keep on telling and bugging my friends bout "i cant wait for 4.50 on friday".as for my close friend they will understand what is it mean.and as for my boyfriend he will feel guilty but its okay im fine.

guess what happen on friday? :

i can really feel extremely lonely for the very first time in my life man! first it was me and mey in the tuition then decided to walk over to carlos to yam cha but too bad she is going to pub with her parents(mey ditch me) so i called terence to walk over to usj9 to teman me over to carlos and sat over there feeling extremely bored with sam and 2more guys.after that sam and terence wanted to walk back to usj9,so i followed them there then terence went off to kancil (terence ditch me).then while i was standing at the mamak called nirwana,sam told me he have to go back too so means (sam ditch me too).ohh soo great.then i called my sis to fetch me and she said wait till 10.30 only pick me up and now its only 10.00p.m.great! so i were have to wait for half and hour for her with a guy name omar which is sam's friend and my old primary school friend.he waited with me for quite some time then his parents came over to fetch him (omar ditch me)... yea whole day people are leaving me to be alone and miserable.what a bad day. hopefully this will not happen again ! hate it so much...!!!!!

i really damn miss him and really do love him with all my heart.but how could i get closer to him?getting closer to him its hard but nomatter how hard or how long it would take ,my love towards him will not fade away.i can feel his warmness everywhere i go but yet his far away from me.how could i possibly get to him? how,when,where???these question seems to appear in my mind ! i'll be okay. i got to be with him so much.

you're my only one that i need,

you're the only one i want,

you're the only one i love,

your're the only one i want in my life the most,

you're the only one i wait,

you're the only one for me.

take your sweet sweet time,ill be here for you baby!

ill love you the same.

ill be here for you.

your lips is what i craves for,your hug is what im dying for but YOU is what im addicted to.

eyes are red and tears are shed.

how can the day be so long?

I'm so glad I found you.Even though the day went so wrong.

Let me hold you for the last time.

the truth hurts and lies worse.

say it again for me that you love me.

i hate it when anybody makes a FAKE promises to me.

I miss you when you are far away. I think of you each night & day. But incase we can't be together. I'll miss you now & forever!

Time seems to crawl when you miss the one you love.

I don't know why you are so special to me? why I like you? Why I care for you? Why I always think of you? Why I loved you but one thing for sure I know that my life won't be like this without you!

"If I hadn't met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I do, and I will.

If ever things would change and your love would fade, I’d still not break the promise I made. if you let go I’ll accept and there's nothing I can do but I’ll be there and still love you.

I want to stare into your eyes and never look away,I want you to hold me in your arms and tell me it's okay, I want to kiss with a passion that only we can share, and when it all falls down I want you to be there.

i miss him so much.his finally on his way to pangkor with his friends (school trip).yeah he will be enjoying like crap over there.baby i love you alot.

sorry for not blogging for so long.cause really busy these few days.when to gym almost everyday.DETERMINATION to get HOT body....hahaha.need to tone up me body..!going to gym again tomorrow.studying for upcoming exams..freakking scary man SPM is just around the corner.*panicking*....!


there is lots of pictures taken but im just too lazy to post it up, maybe some other day laa.

all i want is him now by my side! muakx..

The day I met you was the day I knew I'd found happiness.

Time goes by a lot slower when you miss the one you love.

You made me miss you too much!

You may be out of my sight… but never out of my mind… I Miss You!

Without you in a day makes it feel like forever!

i can’t imagine me without you.

I MISS you endlessly.

I woke up everyday thinking of you, i went through everyday with you in my head i went to sleep thinking about you…then i dreamed about you…now all i can do is miss you!

Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, stop and smile because I am thinking of you.

Say it again that you love me.

I sit and wait for you to call, time seems forever,to hear your voice would be a relief from the pain i have when i’m not with you.

I hate having pictures of you; they are constant reminders how you’re there.. And I’m just here.

i miss you…everytime your gone…i miss you…everytime i don’t have your call…i miss you….everytime and everynight your not by myside.

it may be now or never, i’ll wait for you forever.

why did you have to leave me like this?

You are the only one i love and the only one i tried to hold on to.

i tried to hate you for leaving,yet i see your face and the pain leaves....but i will never try to stop loving you.

Sometimes it hurt so much when you misses somebody that you can no longer breath…..no longer cry…..then the pain becomes familiar everyday that you just get used to it….and eventually there’s numbness…….

i try to forget you and i hurt myself, i try get away from you i hurt my soul.

my love ! (my very first photo taken with him)

black and white :)

smiley smile *

*gonna try my best to do my addmaths project......(so freakking hard laaa)

*study like hell crazy for upcoming examss..

*stress myself....!

please stay...muakx